Sorry about the last post, I am seriously computer challenged. Which maked me wonder why I am searching for a job in the clerical field.

A Dr's office had called me on Thursday to set up an interview. Because of all the craziness at work I could not risk checking my cell phone until I had clocked out, so I missed being able to call them back that day. I tried calling them Friday morning and again Friday afternoon, but the lady never called me back. Oh well, maybe I will hear from them on Monday.

Saturday I spent abut $22.00 at Wal-mart for groceries. My pantry and freezer are full of food, but it all has to be cooked in some way. I do not get home until after 5:45 and the kids are starving at that point. They are in bed by 7:45. So there is two hours to get supper ready, eat, get baths done and spend some quality time with my DS and DD.

I really need to make a weekly menu and I am sure that would help since I could have things ready the night before. Do any of you know if it is safe to leave a crock pot on for 11-12 hours. Most recipes I look at say 4-6 or 6-8 hours.

Another question, After you acquire the knowledge you need to get ahead of anything, how do you find the motivation to do it. Procrastination and laziness are big problems in my life. I really need to find something to give me a kick in the pants.

First I want to say thankyou for all the nice commments from everyone. I really appreciate it.

some of you asked if there were specific things I needed to work on and the answer is yes. I'll be the first to admit that I have been lax in some of my duties at my job , but some of their concerns are completely rediculus (sp).

We have yet to have the next supervisory meeting to discuss my rebuttle to there accustaions. But such is the way of daycare. We have had several staff out and we have to have ratios covered before we can have a long meeting. This part is driving me nuts.

I will NOT let them terminate me. It is a matter of principle on my part. I do not believe I deserved this drastic of action. I agree that some consiquence is deserved but not a 30 probation and then termination.

I told them that if I could resign immediatly I would, but I cannot afford to do so. It would not be in the best interest of my children or myself. I did tell them that I would be seeking employment elsewhere affective immediately. They are supportive of this and said they will give me time for interviews as staffing permits.

Soooooooooooo I have been making phone calls and putting in applications like crazy. But I did get a call back for and interview at a Dr's office, clerical assistant. Hopefully something suitable will show up soon. I'll let you know how the inteview goes.

I'm done rambling now. May everyone have a bless day. and thanks again for your support.

In my last entry I said I was probably not going to be able to make this a no spend lunch week. Well today was no spend. There was plenty of food left after lunch so I had a tuna salad sandwich.

I finished the application yesterday and I also wrote a awesome coverletter. (If I do say so myself) I took it to the office today. Hopefully I will hear something soon. I have not heard anything from other resumes that have been turned in. I am not a patient person at this time. I just want out of this job.

I have not been able to sleep at night and come close to having panic attacks when I drive into my works parking lot. I am terrified that if I screw something up I will be terminated on the spot. I cannot afford o be without a job. But I can't afford to let the stress make me sick either. Oh What to do???????

I know it has been several day since I have written here. Soooooo much has happened.

Mainly there has been conflict with my job. Basically put, there has been alligations put against me saying that I am not doing my job satisfactorly. To put everything in a nut shell, I was givin 30 days to improve my job performance. After the 30 days I will have 3 options.

1. positive performance review; continue to work for this agency. (NOT)
2. Negative performance review: My postition will be terminated effective Immediately.
3. Megative performance review:In reverence tomy seven years of employment they will give me the option to resign my position, effective immediately.

I basically told them that if it were possible for me to afford housing and living expensises I would present my two-week notice of resignation immediately, but since this is not possibel. I will actively search for other employment during these 30 days. This Bites.

I have known it was time to move on for a while know. I have prayed about it and I guess this is my conformation.

I blew my not eating out for lunch challenge yesterday. It is hard to find time to fix/heat lunch and eat it when you are on the road picking up and dropping off resumes. I have an hour lunch. I will probably not do real well on this challenge for a while so I will amend it to trying to eat somewhat healthy fast food.

Well time to go to work. I will write more when time allows.

Day number 5 of not paying for lunch and eating what work serves or bringing leftovers from home. Yeah me.

I wonder how many days in a row I can go? Could be interesting to find out.

If I can make it through Friday I will have gone all this "work" week with out spending money on lunch. Wow. I haven't done that in a long time. Now i just need to remember to take the left over Chinese food in the frig with me to work so it doesn't go to waste.
I think I will put a note on the door to remind me.

Be right Back..........



Ok I'm back and note is hanging on door at eye level.

I did take the kids to "old McDonald's for supper. I was running and doing errands and I also had a friends baby with us. So I spent $13. for one adult and 3 kids.

I also made some payments on medical bills. $45. to podiatrist, and $50. to the dentist. Should be able to have those two paid off next month.

I need to contact the hospital where I took DS to the emergency room Christmas night for a sinus infection. He is on the medical card, but for some reason they did not bill the card, but sent me the total bill. The visit which included the ER, exrays and the ER physician was almost over $700.00. What do people do who do not have any insurance do? That is outragious.

Got my Visa bill in the mail today. AAKKK. It just seems to keep increasing. I didn't realize how much I used it at Christmas. I have got to get a handle on this. I need to look for a 0% balance transfer card and apply for it. This card is the last big ticket item. $5,800.

I know what I need to do to get on top of my finances, but have a hard time finding the motivation and drive to do it. I just want to bury my head in the sand and hope that when I come up for air it will have all gone away. I know... dream on sister.

I have been looking for another job for several months now. This job pays the bills and gives me benefits, but I am burnt out in the childcare field.

I put in a application at the Library for a children's librarian and just called to see where they were in the hiring process and they have chosen applicants and are in the interview process. I asked if I had not heard from them then I could assume I was not one of the chosen ones and she said correct. BUMMER>

I immediately got on the puter and pulled up e-bay and was looking at things and then realized that I was just looking to spend money to try to make myself feel better, so I logged off of there and logged on here. Now I do feel better about myself.

I ate lunch again at work. no $$$$ spent.

One of my goals for tonight is to go through all the papers that are piled up in stacks and boxes and weed out what is important and see how many bills have been hidden and are now late. I really hate when my meds no longer work and It is time for a change. I don't notice the depression until I am burried and it takes a bulldozer to dig my way out. I have to stop this because it is probably destroying my credit score. I want to be able to buy a house by 2010.

My goal by the weekend is to have deleted what I have on Quicken that I started in September '05 and to have restarted it with info from Jan '06.

I have also started a Bible Study again. For some reason (Iknow what it is) I am more focused when I am in God's word.

I had almost finished writting a minute ago and hit a wrong key and erased everything I had just typed. Uggg I really dislike when I do that. I am sure there is a way to recover it, but I sure don't know how to do it.

Anyway. What I had written before was that I am going to consider this a no spend day even though I spent $20.00 on a workbook and chapter book for a Bible Study. I consider anything spent on something that keeps me in Gods Word and helps me grow in my christian walk as PRICELESS.

I ate the school lunch today, so no "old McDonalds" as my young DD calls it. Go Me.

Now I am going to clean the kitchen floor. It needed to be swept and mopped anyway, but is in desperate need now since I bumped into the table and knocked a glass on the floor and it shattered into a million pieces.

Gave away several things on Freecycle. The last item on this bunch should be picked up tomorrow. With so much stuff going out the door into the dumpster and Goodwill and Freecycling you would think that I would notice some available space in my house. I must have more crud than I thought I did. It will be nice when I can actually notice a differenc.

I managed to get many errands done and annoy my children all at the same time. My poor babies do not like to run errands with mommy. When I am in go mode I go in and get out quickly. We made 9 stops in less than 2 hours. They had drove me crazy since they woke up because they wanted to do something. After a few stops they were begging to go home. (then once we got home they wanted to do something "special") HElP ME! lol

Anyway i feel good about my accomplishments.

1. Kohls Made payment $30.00
pricing mistake refund +6.48

2. TJ Maxx Took item back +16.22

3. Target Looking for shoes, no luck
0.00

4. Cute as a Button Shoes -3.98

5. Lane Bryant 1st stop store closed yet.
2nd stop paid off card -80.72

6. Big Lotts Returned shirt +9.00
Bought bandaides -1.01

7. Meijers looked for DS shoes , no luck

8. McDonalds Lunch -12.48

TOTALS

Bills payed $110.72
(one credit card gone) whooo hoooo

Money back $32.70

Money spent $17.46


Not a bad day for me, money wise.

Now to get the kids and me back on a positive track.

It is a three day weekend for me and the kids. I look forward to these and I dread them at the same time.

I usually cannot stay home or putz around town without spending money that I do not have to spend freely. I would love to go someplace, but I really don't have the money to go anywhere.

Right now it is Monday morning and I have been going over my spending on Sat and Sun.
Sat. I paid some bills until I ran out of checks. I would have paid by phone but I refuse to pay the 3 to 5.00 processing fee. I do not have on-line checking for reasons that are my own right now.

I also did some grocery shopping and stuck to what was on my list except for one item that cost 2.50. the rest of the day was spent playing with the kids and cleaning the house and purging items. I think I am responsible for filling half the dumpster.
I also put together several bags for free-cycle, I am into sharing the wealth. I couldn't bear the throw everything out. Especially if I know there people who can us it.

Sunday was church and then Nap for the youngest and playing games with the oldest. We then went on a shoe finding mission for my DD. Found a pair on clearance for 6.97. We then went to a friends and shared our Christmas. ( I know it is late)

Today should be a no spend day. Oh I forgot I told my friend I would look for shoes for her little ones, but she will repay me.

Hopefully today goes as planned.

It's been a couple of days since I've written.

I applied for a position at Country Companies today for a receptionist position. Hopefully I will here from them soon. I have not heard for the Library yet. I am not really fond of the waiting game.

Spent too much money yesterday. A store is going out of business and I bought about $50.00 worth of stuff. About the only thing I NEEDED was the mattress pad for my DD's bed. It was $10.00. I bought some balloon covers for my classroom at work. And some for my kids. Also got a CD/DVD holder for the van since the old one is full and runneth over. I also bought solar light for the front yard. I have always liked these but didn't want to pay full price, Got four of them for $12.00.

Today was much better. I actually brought my lunch to work today. Then after a rough day with toddlers and looking at a 1 1/2 hour manditory staff meeting I needed (or so I thought) some comfort food for supper. So I went to Great Harvest Bread Co. and bought a loaf of cinnimon crunch bread. $4.50 for the loaf. Good Grief.
Could kick myself.

Now I need to go do something productive to the house. Some thing like washing dishes would be helpful. I hate washing dished as much as I hate to put away clothes. My next home will have a dishwasher. And within the next year or two the children will be old enough to put their own clothes away. They are already in training. Need to start them on doing dishes also. They are willing and want to help, I just can do it faster without them. Time for mom to get unlazy.

Til next time.
Happy saving.

WEll it is sunday, the 7th day of the new year.

I feel much better after my talking to and getting some things accomplished.

I added a few things after my last post.

Found the middle of the floor so the kids could "camp out" complete with swiss army knives, lanterns canteens. (All Plastic kid toys)

I also got some laundry done. NOw I have more to put away UGGGG. does this ever stop!

I also talked to my DD's biological cousin for 3 hours last night. We got off the phone at 1:30 a.m. I think we made alot of headway towards re-establishing a relationship. So you can understand what I just wrote about. I have adopted my two children. DD's cousin tried to get custody of her but the judge granted me (the foster parent) adoption rights. Then these cousins adopted the bio moms next child as a newborn. Somewhere in the middle of everything communication dropped completely between us. I feel really good about the conversation last night. a lot of tears were shed and some misconceptions changed.

Today is going to be a literal day of rest . I am exhausted mentally and physically. I am really feeling the after effects of my fall on Friday morning.

Last night I gave myself a good talking to.
I have been way too negative and in doing so had given the devil a foothold on the new year.

I decided that I need to get active and get some things done instead of sitting here at the computer and complaining about it.

I reread some of my last entries and how depressing.

I made a list of things that I could/need to get done. I will feel like I accomplished something if 5 of them get done.

It is only 4:15 and here is what is done so far.

1. Cleaned out the van. (There was more crud than I thought there was)

2. took care of 4 errands in one trip

3. Put my daughters cloths away, while she picked up toys, and then rearranged the room. It looks nice and she is very happy.

4. Straingtened up in sons room.

5. found some floor in the living room. Wow there is carpet under some of that stuff.

6. Paid rent

7. And best of all, spent some quality time with my children.

That is 7, yeah , go me


Baby steps baby Steps baby steps

I am a child of the King and can do all things through Christ how strengthens me.

I am frustrated with this year, yes I know we are only 5 days into it, but it has been a drag so far.

I fell again at work, this time I slipped on the steps and landed on my backside. Scared my DD. I have a nice big black bruise on the back of my thigh and one on my hip. I couldn't claim workers comp because I was not on the clock yet. UGH. I didn't go to the Dr anyway since I still have muscle relaxers and anti-inflamitories from the last fall.

I need to change that last statement. I didn't go to the Dr for injuries frm the fall I went because I have fallen 3 times in two weeks. He did some tests and determined that I am just having a run of bad luck. Cost me a $20.00 co-pay to tell me that.

I did go to McDonald's for supper for me and the kids. I told them we are going to eat there only one time this weekend.( as oppossed to 3 or 4 times) I hope I can stick to it. I would like to cut out fast food but the 3 and 5 year old would go on a scream strike.

I recieved some movies from a fellow freecycler and posted some things to give away.

I had a talk with the kids last night about going through some of their toys and giving them to goodwill or freecycling them and mommy was going to go through some of her things also. They agreed that they had enough toys and that they could give some toys that they do not play with anymore to some boys and girls who do not have many toys. We will see how much they understood when we actually pack them up to give away. Could get interesting.

PLan on cleaning out the van tomorrow also. My mom always says that the less you have in your vehicle the better gas milage you will get. I can see her point if I am carrying bricks, but just how much does a floorboard of McDonalds bags weigh.
I know it weighs on my emotional state of mind.

Well I am going to go make a list of things that need to get done tomorrow. My mini goal will be to accomplish 5 items on the list.

Goodnight.

I don't know how much I can take. All you hear is it is a new year and a new beginning. A time to make new resoulutions, and start over.

Well I wish I could start this year over already.

I have said in a previous blog that I was taking the spend nothing challenge. Well here it is the 4th and I am already spending for unnessisary or unexpected things.

#1 Got up this morning took a shower and as I was getting dressed my bra broke. These cost over $40.00.

#2 I left for work early to drop off some library rentals and got a speeding ticket. So not only do I have to pay for the ticket but Can be assured that my insurance will increase. Stupid me.

#3 Forgot to get new tags for the van in December, so there is an extra January expense. The police officer was nice enough to not site me for the tags. Thank You Mr. Police Officer.

I guess things could be worse, but I still needed to vent.

I picked up an application at the Library last night. I filledit out last night and just got back from turning it in during my lunch break.

Now comes the hard part. Waiting to hear if they liked what they read and want to have an interview. It's kind of weird how they do it. All they tell you is that if they want to interview you they will call you. otherwise you will not hear from them. I asked how long I should wait and they would not give me a striaght answer. "Well it depends on ....blah, blah, blah.

Now to tell my current employer. Oh well I have decided it is their loss.

Gotta go back to work now, UGH.

I have been wanting to get out of the childcare field for some time now. I have been a toddler teacher for around 13-14 years. It is time to move on.

The only problem is that I am childcare wired. I really don't h ave a clue about the corporate world.

I did look in the paper today and there was a position with the Library in the childrens department. The pay certianly was appealing.

I went by there are got an application.
Will turn it in by Thursday.

Am praying that God's will be done in all that is said and done.

I am going to try to do this for one month. I wish I could say I am not going to buy "anything" for a month. I could probably come pretty close to doing it. I have enough food in the freezer and pantry. I would only have to get milk and bread.

I think I will try to see how long I can go with out buying anything. might be interesting.


Hummmm.

just rambling and venting.

My job really pissed me off this afternoon. I have worked there for seven years and for some reason they have got some bug up their butt and have written me up twice in less than two weeks. Each write up had two reasons. ON the first write up I agreed with #1 I messed up but would not agree to the second part.

The second write up was a two parter also. the first part I semi agreed with but the second part was for sitting on the lunch table. What a petty and ridiculus thing to write someone up for. And now that this is the second time work policy is that if I get written up again they have the right to let me go. So now I am terrified to even look crosse eyed at anybody since it may now be a offence that I have not been told about, but is yet my responsibility to know about as now we must be mind readers.

I am tempted to tell them to kiss my butt. but I can't afford to walk out on them. Besides that would be putting myself down to their level. So for now I just vent and yell.

Well it is 12:30 and my three mini goals have been accomplished. GO ME!

It seems so insignificant but my kids are happy and are content to play by themselves for a while. They even have the table to color on.

I have to change my thought pattern, but that is easier said than done. Must remember baby steps, baby steps. Could this be a new mantra?

January 1,2007

Wow where did last year go and how did it go so quickly. I have noticed that the older I get the faster time passes. sometimes that is good and sometimes quite frankly it sucks.

Thanks to all who posted to my first blog. I realize that finances should come first, but I need to rebuild a relationship with my children and get my home somewhat in order before I can concentrate on anything else. The state of those two affairs are so out of control.

I want to set some daily goals, maybe three and see if I can accomplish them. So today I will.......

1. Clean off the kitchen table
2.Put away clean dishes
3. Play games with my children

Well since this is a new year it is time to start something new. I have never written in a blog before so i'll see how it goes. I hope to be able to maintian some consistancy, but can be the queen of procrastination.

I have so many goals that need to be acheived this year.

1. Get my finances in order ( this means find out what I have and what I don't have. )

2. After achieving #1 I need to create a budget that I can stick to.

3. Regain control of my house. It is crazy out of control! It is time to purge, purge and then purge some more.

I have this great saying taped to my desk that says, "I HAVE MORE THAN I NEED, AND I REALLY DON'T NEED MUCH OF WHAT I WANT."
( author unknown )

4. Get control of my physical health. Loosing weight would put an end to many of my health concerns and issues.

5. Get my spiritual life back on track.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

6. Be a better mommy to my two angels.


The order is interchangeable, but all need to be addressed sooner than later.

I just need to remind myself to take baby steps. I didn't get in this situation in life overnight and cannot expect it to get fixed overnight.

God help me I am overwhelmed already.